Extrapolated copy of the Personality Defect Test originally found here, which was NOT created by me, and which is reproduced here only because OK Cupid decided to delete the only content of worth it ever actually contained.
INFP || The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
INFJ || The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
INTP || The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
INTJ || The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
ENFP || The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
ENFJ || The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
ENTP || The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
ENTJ || The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
ISFP || The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
ISFJ || The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
ISTP || The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
ISTJ || The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
ESFP || The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
ESFJ || The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
ESTP || The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
ESTJ || The Smart Ass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
EMO KID (INFP)
Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble
You are the Emo Kid, best described as a quiet pussy! You tend to be an intuitive rather than a logical thinker, meaning you rely more on your feelings than your thoughts. Not only that, but you are introverted, gentle, and rather humble. You embody all the traits of the perfect emo kid.
You are a push-over, an emotional thinker, gentle to the extent of absurdity, and so humble that it even makes Jesus puke. (And Jesus almost never pukes, being immortal and not requiring an act of puke to dispell toxins from his corporeal manifestation.) If you write poetry, you no doubt write angsty, syrupy lines about depression, sadness, and other such redundant states of emo-being that go something like this:
life is a spike / upon which i have impaled mysefl / fuck you dad
So, your personality is defective because you are too gentle, rather underconfident in yourself, decidely lacking in any rational thought, and also a bit too inhibited. Plus, your poetry really upsets your father.
I probably made you cry, didn't I? Fucking Emo Kid.
Your exact opposite: the Smartass.
You would probably get along with: the Hippie, the Televangelist, and the Starving Artist.
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STARVING ARTIST (INFJ)
Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant
You are the Starving Artist! Like some sort of emaciated Frenchman, you sit in your fancy little chair and contemplate beauty, meaning, flowers, and all kinds of other ridiculous crap. You are more intuitive than logical, and are primarily guided by your heart and emotions. You are also very introverted and gentle. Of course, this does not mean that you do not have an ego. In fact, you are surprisingly arrogant for someone so emotional and gentle.
This is why you are best described as a starving artist. You are very introspective and quite sure of yourself, as any accomplished artist is, yet your views are impractical, guided by feelings, and overly gentle. You probably find math, logic, and similar intellectual pursuits offensive to your artistic sensibilities, and you prefer the open-endedness of artistry because it's infinitely easier to ponder the beauty of a sock than to build rocketships.
So really you have no reason to be arrogant, you big doofus, because the skills you value (emotion, spirit, art, etc.) in yourself are valuable only on a subjective level, meaning your arrogance is purely masturbatory, like the insipid self-pleasuring of some twat who spouts artistic nonsense only for the pleasant tinkling sound it makes upon his indiscriminating ears.
In short, your personality is defective because you are arrogant, introverted, introspective, gentle, and thoroughly irrational...posessing most of the traits needed to be a starving--and useless--artist. So get out there, write a few short stories that are allegories for the indestructible spirit of socks, and starve!
Your exact opposite: the Capitalist Pig.
You would probably get along with: the Hippie, the Emo Kid, and the Televangelist.
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BITCH SLAP (INTP)
Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble
You are the Bitch-Slap, the hallmark response of any abusive husband! You are more intuitive than others, focusing more on feelings than rational explanations, and you are also probably very brutual because you care more about yourself than the well-being of others. As all nagging wives know, brutality combined with emotion often leads to BITCH-SLAPPING, which is why you are called "The Bitch Slap". (That and because I find it amusing to accuse people of pummeling female dogs.)
Your humility probably stems from insecurity, if anything, because people fond of slapping the shit out of someone in place of rational discussion are usually not humble in the way Jesus was humble. Possible sources of insecurity? A small penis, a small bank account, a small intelligence...gee, when you say "small" a lot, it stops sounding like a real word! Not only that, but you are also rather introverted, and any tendencies towards brutality you possess may also result from the fact that you bottle up your emotions and don't show them to others until you explode in rage like some sort of shaken soda can. Take it from me, it is much more rewarding to bottle beer over emotions. You can't get wasted on emotions.
Aside from all my talk (and it's a lot of talk) you are probably not a VIOLENT person, just someone who is rather selfish and who makes decisions based upon emotional motives. At any rate, being a bitch-slap does not necessarily mean you will abuse your spouse (your body odor is no doubt abuse enough); it only means you are rather intuitive, uncaring toward others, brutal, introverted, and possibly insecure.
And sorry about that body odor remark if you really are insecure. I promise that you smell like roses. Being fertilized by cow shit.
Your exact opposite: the Braggart.
You would probably get along with: the Schoolyard Bully, the Class Clown, and the Brute.
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THE BRUTE (INTJ)
Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant
You are the Brute! You are introverted, arrogant, brutal, and more intuitive than rational. Like a big, dumb animal, you are driven by your emotions more than your reason, and as a result of the fact that you care very little for the feelings of others, you tend to be rather selfish. You also possibly fling your own poo. Because of your selfishness, you also tend to be a bit arrogant, seeing yourself as big or strong or smart or always correct. This makes you a stubborn, irrational, emotion-driven brute.
King Kong best represents the gorilla-version of your personality. Emotional, introverted (King Kong was isolated on his own island, after all), brutal, and arrogant (proud to be the largest ape on Earth!), Kong would probably get along very well with you, seeing as how you share many of the same traits. Aside from, you know, all the fur. You probably keep to yourself and take great pleasure in watching fat people fall down stairs. (But who doesn't, really?)
You probably also have dreams of becoming famous or well-known, but this most likely won't happen because your introversion limits your Hollywood connections. Being introverted, ape-like, and arrogant isn't so bad, though. It beats being dead. So your personality defect is simply that you act like a large, overgrown ape that thinks highly of itself whilst brutalizing buxom blondes. Or something.
Try to stay off of buildings.
Your exact opposite is: the Hand-Raiser.
You would probably get along with: the Class Clown, the Schoolyard Bully, and the Bitch-Slap.
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Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble
You are the Hippie! Characterized by a strong sense of extroversion, irrationality, gentleness, humility, and a faint scent of marijuana, you no doubt frolic through fields preaching peace and free love! Immediately following that, you then frolic to the hospital with herpes! You are probably either very spiritual or needlessly paranoid about "the man", like most hippies, as a result of your focus on intuition and feelings over cold, brutal logic. You probably enjoy poetry, especially beatnik ultra-liberal crap about how horrible fascism is, even though your suburbanized, sheltered idea of "fascism" is having to pay two dollars per gallon at the gas pump.
You are also very, very social. And like any hippie who would have no qualms about hitchiking across the country just to meet some interesting people, you also love to interact with others, even complete strangers. Though I highly doubt they love to interact with you! Because we know most any hippie is peace-loving and humble, it stands to reason that you, as well, are terribly gentle and humble, almost to the point of revulsion. Your carefree attitude of peace and harmony is probably very, very sickening to realists or cynics or anyone who isn't a hippie, to tell the truth.
In short, your personality is defective because you are overly emotional, extroverted, gentle, and humble--thus making you an annoying hippie. Now go do your drugs and have sex with filthy bearded men in tye dye shirts.
Your exact opposite: the Sociopath.
You would probably get along with: the Emo Kid, the Televangelist, and the Starving Artist.
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Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant
As the Lord as my witness, I swear upon the good book that you are indeed the TELEVANGELIST! Characterized by extreme arrogance, self-assurance, and extroversion, you would make a very charismatic leader (or a very despotic one). On top of that, you are also more intuitive than rational, predisposing you to a more spiritual or emotional outlook on life. Thus, you are thoroughly irrational. You also tend to be rather gentle and considerate of others' feelings.
Clearly, you would make the perfect televangelist. You could easily fleece people of their money and their dignity like so many sheep. Emotional, extroverted, arrogant, and gentle, you annoy the hell out of people who have to listen to the feel-good, intuitive **** spewing from your mouth. Not only that, but people may look down on you as a self-centered asshat. So while you are gentle and genuinely care about others, it is quite clear that you still care about yourself MORE.
Why is your personality flawed? Because you are too damned extroverted, emotional, and arrogant. So preach your irrational message, brotha-man! I assure you, no one will be listening. Except for a few bums. But they just want you to feed them crackers and wine.
Your exact opposite: the Spiteful Loner.
You would probably get along with: the Hippie, the Emo Kid, and the Starving Artist.
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SCHOOLYARD BULLY (ENTP)
Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble
You are the Schoolyard Bully! You focus more on feelings than rationality, and thus tend to be driven by your emotions rather than by a steering wheel, because human beings don't have those. You are probably easy to anger or annoy, for instance. You are also an extrovert who wouldn't mind having a lot of attention, although you may not always get it.
Another character trait you possess is your brutality, manifested by the fact that you tend to be aggressive and do not care about the well-being of others. In school, you may have been the kid who stuffed the short kid into lockers, or who distributed swirlies to anyone who scored higher than a B on the science quiz. I wouldn't be surprised if you think the word "faggot" is the greatest insult known to man. Also, you exhibit signs of humility, leading one to conlude that you are actually insecure, because very few people are truly humble AND brutal.
Thus, like any schoolyard bully, you seek constant attention for yourself and have no issues with administering beatings because you are quite emotional and easy to upset. Not only that, but your insecurity may be a prime motivation for your brutality. As psychologists have noted, most schoolyard bullies only pick on others because they have a negative self-image. This could possibly be true of you. Either that or you are just really hungry and need lunch money.
In short, your personality defects are your brutality, extroversion, irrationality, and your possible insecurity. Go pick on someone your own size! But not me. I'm a midget, I swear.
Your exact opposite: the Haughty Intellectual. (Bullies like to beat up nerds, after all.)
You would probably get along with: the Bitch-Slap, the Brute, and the Class Clown.
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CLASS CLOWN (ENTJ)
Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant
You are the Class Clown. This means you wear grease paint and have a big, red nose...
I really need to stop thinking so literally...
Anyway, I MEANT to say that you are the Class Clown, and this means that you are extroverted, mean, and arrogant. You are not very rational, so you gravitate towards things that produce feelings or emotions over thoughts (like fart jokes or spitballs, for instance). You are also an extrovert and rather full of yourself, so of course you want constant attention for yourself and think you are somehow better than others. (Upon hearing the expression "you are full of yourself", you probably also slyly feel the need to ask women if they would like to be "full of yourself" too. I am assuming you have a penis. I often make that assumption, being fond of the penis.)
You can also be a bit mean-spirited, and like a class clown you wouldn't hesitate to make a joke at someone else's expense, no matter how terrible it would make them feel. A lot of people probably find your antics annoying, sophomoric, and desperately histrionic. Like some sort of crack-taking hyperactive monkey, you'd do anything, mock anyone, just to get someone to pay attention to you for five seconds.
So your personality defects are that you have to be the center of attention, that you don't care about others, and that you are rather irrational and motivated by intuitions. Now stop walking around with those books on your head and sit down this instant! Or else I'll be forced to stand here, hands on my hips, doing nothing once again!
Your exact opposite: the Robot.
You would probably get along with: the Schoolyard Bully, the Smartass, and the Brute.
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Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble
You are the Robot! You are characterized by your rationality. In fact, this is really ALL you are characterized by. Like a cold, heartless machine, you are so logical and unemotional that you scarcely seem human. For instance, you are very humble and don't bother thinking of your own interests, you are very gentle and lack emotion, and you are also very introverted and introspective. You may have noticed that these traits are just as applicable to your laptop as they are to a human being.
You are not like the robots they show in the movies. Movie robots are make-believe, because they always get all personable and likeable after being struck by lightning, or they are cold, cruel killing machines. In all reality, though, you are much more boring than all that. Real robots just sit there, doing their stupid jobs, and doing little else. If you get struck by lightning, you won't develop a winning personality and heart of gold. (Robots don't have hearts, silly, and if they did, they would probably be made of steel, not gold.)
You also won't be likely to terrorize humanity by becoming an ultra-violent killing machine sent into the past to kill the mother of a child who will lead a rebellion against machines, because that movie was dumb as hell, and because real robots don't kill--they horribly maim at best, and they don't even do that on purpose. Real robots are boringly kind and all too rarely try to kill people. In all my years, my laptop has only attacked me once, and that was only because my brother threw it at me.
In short, your personality defect is that you don't really HAVE a personality. You are one of those annoying, super-logical people that never gets upset or flustered. Unless, of course, you short circuit. Or if someone throws a pie at you. Pies sure are delicious.
Your exact opposite: the Class Clown.
You would probably get along with: the Hand-Raiser, the Emo Kid, and the Haughty Intellectual.
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HAUGHTY INTELLECTUAL (ISFJ)
Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant
You are the Haughty Intellectual. You are a very rational person, emphasizing logic over emotion, and you are also rather arrogant and self-aggrandizing. You probably think of yourself as an intellectual, and you would like everyone to know it. Not only that, but you also tend to look down on others, thinking yourself better than them. You could possibly have an unhealthy obsession with yourself as well, thus causing everyone to hate you for being such an elitist twat.
On top of all that, you are also introverted and gentle. This means that you are just a quiet thinker who wants fame and recognition, in all likelihood. Like so many countless pseudo-intellectuals swarming around vacuous internet forums to discuss worthless political issues, your kind is a scourge upon humanity, blathering and blathering on and on about all kinds of boring crap. If your personality could be sculpted, the resulting piece would be Rodin's "The Thinker"--although I am absolutely positive that you are not nearly as muscular or naked as that statue.
Rather lacking in emotion, introspective, gentle, and arrogant, you are most certainly a Haughty Intellectual! And, most likely, you will never achieve the recognition or fame you so desire! But no worries!
Your exact opposite: the Schoolyard Bully. (Bullies like to beat up nerds, after all.)
You would probably get along with: the Braggart, the Hand-Raiser, and the Robot.
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SPITEFUL LONER (ISTP)
Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble
You are the Spiteful Loner, the personality type that is most likely to go on a shooting rampage. In high school, you were probably that kid who wore all black and who sat alone in a corner of the lunch room, drawing pictures of dead babies. You are a rational person and tend to hold emotions in very low-esteem; not only that, but you are also rather introverted, meaning you probably bury any emotions you feel deep inside yourself, like all of the bodies in your backyard.
Combine these traits with your dislike of others and your brutality, and it seems that you would be quite likely to shoot innocent people in a rampage. Most likely, you also have low self-esteem. Hell, I get low self-esteem just looking at you. This is only yet one more incentive to go on a shooting rampage, because you wouldn't care if you died as a result. Granted, you probably haven't gone on a shooting rampage and probably never will, but all the motivations are there. All you need is for someone to push you over the edge, calling you names and belittling you. Like me. But don't shoot me. I have a 101 mile-long knife, you know.
In conclusion, your personality is defective because you are too introverted, brutal, insecure, and rather unemotional. No wonder no one hangs around you, you morbid, cold-hearted freak!
Your exact opposite: the Televangelist.
You would probably get along with: the Sociopath, the Capitalist Pig, and the Smartass.
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Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant
You are the Sociopath! As a result of your cold, calculating rationality, your introversion (and ability to keep quiet), your brutality, and your arrogance, you would make a very cunning serial killer. You are confident and capable of social interaction, but you prefer the silence of dead bodies to the loud, twittering nitwits you normally encounter in your daily life.
You care very little for the feelings of others, possibly because you are not a very emotional person. You are also very calculating and intelligent, making you a perfect criminal mastermind. Also, you are a very arrogant person, tending to see yourself as better than others, providing you with a strong ability to perceive others as weak little animals, so tiny and small. You take great pleasure in the misery of others, and there is nothing sweeter to you than the sweet glory of using someone else's shattered failure to project yourself to success. Except sugar. That just may be sweeter.
In short, your personality defect is the fact that you could easily be a sociopath, because you are calculating, unemotional, brutal, and arrogant. Please don't kill me for writing mean things about you! I have a 101 mile-long knife! Don't make me use it!
Your exact opposite: the Hippie.
You would probably get along with: the Spiteful Loner, the Smartass, and the Capitalist Pig.
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THE HAND-RAISER (ESFP)
Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble
You are the Hand-Raiser, that annoying kid in class who always had an answer for everything. No doubt, as a child you probably sat in the front of the class, anxiously waving your hand back and forth in the air while your teacher desperately tried to avoid calling on you because you were the ONLY fucking kid that answered her questions.
Clearly, the key traits of your personality are your rationality and your extroversion. You are like a little talkative calculator, in other words. You also tend to be rather gentle and less arrogant than most people. Your presence is a bane to everyone's existence, because you are too nice for your own good and you absolutely will not shut up. So what is your defect, then?
Well, you're boring, and when you're not boring, you are just plain annoying with your ultra-logical responses and constant need to talk to others. So keep waving that hand in the air, son. I'm still not calling on you. You are too logical, you talk too much, and your humility and gentleness only makes me hate you more, because they make me feel like I almost SHOULDN'T hate you. But I do. Big time. And by the way, the more you wave your hand in class--your extended hand becoming nothing more than a blur as you insanely wave it, thinking we can't see it--the more smug satisfaction the teacher takes in watching the look of excrutiating pain cross your face as you agonize over not being called on, and the longer we'll wait to call on you, just because we absolutely love torturing you so.
Your exact opposite: the Brute.
You would probably get along with: the Braggart, the Haughty Intellectual, and the Robot.
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Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant
You are the Braggart! Like Muhammad Ali, you would surely tell everyone that you are "The Greatest" whilst bragging incessantly about your intelligence, your skills, and your abilities. You tend to be a thinker rather than a feeler, and combined with your extroversion and arrogance, this makes you someone who probably just LOVES to brag about his accomplishments. Despite this, however, you are a very gentle, tender person and truly care about others' feelings. You just happen to care more about yourself.
Unlike Ali, of course, you are rather rational as opposed to emotional, and you are also much more gentle. But his arrogance and extroversion best reflect the most visible aspects of your personality. But his afro and his penchant for rhyming...not so much. There is not really much to dislike about you, aside from the fact that you can be incredibly annoying, and you probably never shut up about yourself. You may be one of these people who refer to themselves in the third person. If you have a nickname, it is probably one you gave to yourself, because you are too cool for the nickname others have given you--like "doofus" and "shitface".
Your personality defect, in summary, is the fact that you are extremely overconfident, extroverted, and perhaps rather lacking in emotions. YOU ARE THE GREATEST! Or so you keep telling yourself every night as you stare at yourself in the mirror and practically make out with your reflection. Maybe one day everyone else on the planet will agree with your assessment of yourself. Nah, I'm just kidding. We think you're an arrogant dickhole. But a NICE arrogant dickhole, so no worries.
Your exact opposite: the Bitch-Slap.
You would probably get along with: the Hand-Raiser, the Haughty Intellectual, and the Capitalist Pig.
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CAPITALIST PIG (ESTP)
Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble
You are the Capitalist Pig! This means that you are less emotional than most, focusing more on logic. You are also more selfish, greedy, and care very little for the well-being of others, hence you probably hold capitalistic political views. This also means that you are particularly swinish, willing to grouse in any amount of shit for your own gain, and obese with greed. You are also an extrovert, like most of the people in the hallmark capitalistic country of America.
Despite these traits, you are surprisingly not very arrogant, tending to view yourself as equal to others, just like the principle of Democracy in America. Which seems strange given that you are so mean and brutal to others at times. But despite your intentions to see others as equal, and to not be an arrogant twat, it must always be remembered that while all animals are created equal, some are more equal than others--the pigs being more equal. So while you may not be full of yourself, you certainly don't treat others with the respect they deserve. So like any farmyard pig, you are greedy, noisy, and don't care about others. The only difference between you and a pig is that you are more rational and intelligent.
In conclusion, your personality defect is that you are a bit too logical, rather unemotional, way too extroverted, and also very brutal in regards to others. You may even be a bit insecure about yourself, little piggy. But at least you're not a platypus. It must suck to be a platypus, you know? All those identity issues.
Your exact opposite: the Starving Artist.
You would probably get along with: the Sociopath, the Spiteful Loner, and the Smartass.
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Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant
You are the Smartass! You are rational, extroverted, brutal, and arrogant. In fact, you could very well be the anti-Christ, as you are almost the exact opposite of everything Jesus was supposed to be. While Jesus says love your enemy, you say love beating the crap out of your enemy. While Jesus raises the dead, you raise hell. While Jesus walks on water, you tend to sink.
You probably consider people who are emotional and gentle to be big pussies who are obviously in lesser stature than you. You have many flaws, despite your seeming intelligence and cool-headedness. For instance, you aren't very nice. In fact, you're probably an asshole. And you are conceited and self-centered. Not only that, but you are very loud and vocal about all this, seeing as how you are extroverted. There is no better way to describe you than as a "smartass", I'm afraid. Perhaps just "ass" would do, too. But that's a little less literary and descriptive.
At any rate, your main personality defect is the fact that you are self-centered, mean, uncaring, and brutally logical.
Your exact opposite: the Emo Kid.
You would probably get along with: the Capitalist Pig, the Braggart, and the Sociopath.
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